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Perimenopause & Libido: What to Expect & How to Stay Connected

Introduction

Perimenopause is a natural transition, but it often comes with unexpected changes - especially when it comes to libido. If you’ve noticed shifts in your sex drive, you're not alone. Many women experience fluctuations due to hormonal changes, stress, and lifestyle factors. The good news? There are ways to navigate this phase with confidence and intimacy.

As always, we want to keep the conversation going and below we have chatted about the connection between perimenopause and libido, common challenges, and practical strategies to help you thrive.

How Perimenopause Affects Libido

Perimenopause typically begins in the 40s (often earlier) and can last for several years before menopause officially starts. Menopause is technically a date on the calendar that marks 12 months since your last period so leading up to this date, there are many symptoms and changes that can come up. 

During this time, your body undergoes significant hormonal shifts that impact your sex drive.

1. Hormonal Fluctuations

  • Oestrogen Decline: Lower oestrogen levels can lead to vaginal dryness and reduced blood flow, making intimacy less comfortable.

  • Testosterone Reduction: Though often considered a “male” hormone, testosterone plays a crucial role in female libido. Declining levels may contribute to decreased drive.

  • Progesterone Shifts: This hormone affects mood and relaxation. When levels drop, sleep disturbances and anxiety can impact sexual desire.

2. Emotional & Psychological Factors

  • Stress & Anxiety: Increased life responsibilities, career demands, or caregiving roles can elevate stress, which can negatively impacts libido.

  • Body Image Changes: Weight fluctuations or shifts in body composition may affect self-confidence in the bedroom.

  • Mood Swings & Depression: Hormonal changes can contribute to emotional ups and downs, reducing interest in intimacy.

3. Physical Symptoms That Impact Libido

  • Vaginal Dryness & Discomfort: Decreased oestrogen can cause dryness, leading to discomfort during sex.

  • Fatigue & Sleep Disturbances: Poor sleep, common in perimenopause, leads to low energy and reduced interest in intimacy.

  • Joint & Muscle Pain: Achiness and inflammation can make physical intimacy less appealing.

How to Support Your Libido During Perimenopause

The good news is that there are ways to re connect with yourself and enhance intimacy during perimenopause. Here’s some ways to support your body and needs:

1. Balance Hormones Naturally

  • Nutrition: Focus on a diet rich in healthy fats (avocados, nuts, salmon), lean protein, and leafy greens to support hormone production.

  • Herbal Supplements: Consider maca root, ashwagandha, or evening primrose oil, which may help with hormonal balance and libido.

  • Manage Stress: Yoga, meditation, and breath work can reduce cortisol levels, which can impact hormones and stress in the body.

2. Prioritise Sexual Wellness

  • Use Lubricants & Moisturisers: Water based lubricants or vaginal moisturisers can reduce dryness and discomfort. Natural ingredients and designed for sensitive areas and skin to nurture you.

  • Try Pelvic Floor Exercises: Kegels help strengthen the pelvic floor, improving sensitivity and orgasm potential. 

  • Explore Sensuality Beyond Intercourse: Emotional intimacy, massage, and non sexual touch can strengthen connection. There is so much to explore with non penetrative sex and ways to build intimacy. 

3. Optimise Lifestyle Choices

  • Exercise Regularly: Strength training is a priority, gentle cardio, pilates and yoga boost circulation, energy, and confidence. Look at hormones and lower impact training to help build lean muscle and be strong. 

  • Improve Sleep Quality: Try and create a bedtime routine, reduce screen time, and consider magnesium or melatonin for better rest. It isn't always easy with young kids and busy schedules but where you can, try and set the mood for yourself.  

  • Communicate Openly: Honest conversations with your partner about needs, desires, and concerns can improve intimacy. It can feel scary to have the conversations but they are a beautiful way to connect with yourself and your partner. The more aware and connected you are to your own needs and wants, the easier it can become to share it with your partner.

When to Seek Professional Help

If perimenopause related libido changes are causing distress, consult a healthcare provider. Options may include:

  • Hormone Therapy (HRT): Low dose oestrogen or testosterone therapy may help restore balance. Always speak to your healthcare professional and push for answers and support. If you are able to find someone that also specialises in perimenopause, menopause and hormonal support, it can change so much of your support and care plan.

  • Sex Therapy or Counselling: Addressing emotional and psychological factors can enhance intimacy. Opening up the conversation and having someone that can help you and / or your relationship is an excellent support tool. It can also allow you to open up to so much more. 

  • Pelvic Health Specialists: Physical therapy or medical treatments for vaginal discomfort. 

Final Thoughts

Perimenopause is a journey, not an ending. Understanding the changes in your libido and implementing supportive strategies can help you embrace this phase with confidence. With the right mindset, lifestyle shifts, and self care, you can continue to enjoy a fulfilling, intimate life.

There is so much more support, information and education now available to us all and the more we talk about it, the more we normalise it. Every woman that gets old enough, will go through it. It's normal, its natural and you deserve to feel supported, cared for and nurtured throughout each chapter.